The PM nods wisely when I say charging times are holding back EV adoption.
I now have a massive budget to promote a scheme to get these ultra-fast charging stations installed which can deliver 200 miles worth of juice in 20 minutes.
I call up the Permanent Secretary.
“We need to make sure the Department of Transport doesn’t try and get its hands on our budget to install ultra-fast charging stations,” I tell the PS.
“Absolutely Secretary of State,” says the PS.
“This is down to you,” I tell him, “take the Permanent Secretary of the Transport Department to lunch at the Travellers Club and warn him off will you?”
“I shall give him a steer,” says the PS in what I think is his idea of a joke.
Next I get Greaser on the burner blower.
“Charging stations, Greaser,” I tell him.
“What of them Ed?”
“Do you have a subsidiary which could legitimately claim expertise in installing them?”
“Scunthorpe Transportation Logistics at your service, Ed.”
“Have they installed an EV charging station?” I ask him.
“No, but I suspect they soon will,” says Greaser.
“Bone up on it,” I tell him, ‘install a few for the council for peanuts and establish some cred. I’ve got a Chinese fella who can bring in the gear so cheap we can mark it up 500% and take a 75% grant off the government to install it.”
“Sounds like an earner.”
“So good I want 25% off the top.”
“You’re kidding me Ed, 10% of the net.”
“20% of gross revenues.”
“15% of the net.”
“20% of the net.”